Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.
To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’, every Friday. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
The column is being written by Sexologist Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain. In today’s column, Dr Jain explains how foreplay can spice up your sex life and when too much foreplay can lead to unsatisfactory sex life.
Foreplay is an integral part of good sex. It comes in various forms, and if you and your partner take the time, foreplay can be a playful and satisfying element of your sex life. However, there is no
denying that when it comes to sex, the needs of men and women differ. While men like real action more than the time spent in anticipation of the act, it is just the opposite for the woman. Good sex has three parts — foreplay, main act and after play. Believe it or not, both the before and after acts are equally important for the woman to feel loved, enjoy sex and develop trust towards her partner.
What Is Foreplay?
Foreplay is any sexual activity that comes before intercourse. The purpose of foreplay is typically to pave the way for sex, but good foreplay can be enjoyable enough to be the main event. Everyone has different preferences when it comes to foreplay—the possibilities for sexual stimulation are nearly endless. With full consent from both participants, foreplay is an exciting way to explore your
own desires, and it can often lead to a pleasurable orgasm.
Benefits of Foreplay
There are both psychological and physiological benefits of engaging in foreplay. It can strengthen emotional intimacy within your long-term relationship, build your self-confidence with new sexual partners, and even reduce stress. Foreplay also helps with sexual arousal, increasing blood flow to your genitals and preparing your body for sexual intercourse. There are many ways to improve your
foreplay. Consider incorporating these foreplay ideas into your sex life.
Role Play
Roleplaying can add an erotic element to your foreplay. Share your sexual fantasies with your partner and plan a roleplaying session if you are comfortable with it. Use your imagination to build out the scenarios in your mind, and perhaps pretend that you are strangers meeting for the first time. Then, alter your behaviour to fit the role you’re playing and enjoy experiencing a new kind of
sexual encounter with your partner.
Set the mood right
Light some scented candles to set the mood, share a bottle of wine, or put on some sexy music and ask your partner to dance. A sensual environment makes you and your partner more comfortable exploring other forms of foreplay.
Savour Every Moment
Remain present with your partner, and savour every moment of anticipation. There’s no rush. Enjoy a long make-out session; kissing triggers the release of chemicals in your brain like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, giving you a sense of euphoria. If you decide to remove your clothes, try performing a striptease or allowing your partner to help you slowly undress.
Sensual Massage
Find the erogenous zones on your partner’s body, then use massage oil to rub your partner with whatever intensity they prefer. You can also use feathers to tease your partner’s sensitive body parts. As John Mayer said, your partner’s ‘body is a wonderland’ and you should get on with the discovery and exploration of that ‘wonderland.’
Bring Out the Right Accessories
If you’re trying to shake up your foreplay routine, you may want to invest in some accessories. Consider using a blindfold or handcuffs to focus your partner’s awareness on every physical sensation. Vibrators are an excellent option to enhance foreplay. A suitable sex toy can lead to exciting new foreplay techniques between you and your partner.
Talk Dirty
The key to long-term sexual satisfaction with your partner is good communication. Becoming more comfortable talking about your sexual desires will lower your inhibitions and generate more intimacy in your relationship. For example, consider sexting your partner when they are away or using dirty talk as a foreplay technique. Encourage your partner by telling them about the things they do that
you enjoy, and ask them what they want out of foreplay. If your conversations about sex and foreplay are difficult, consider talking with a sex therapist to discuss ways of enhancing communication.
When will foreplay not work?
Don’t rely too much on foreplay. It is just a tool that can help your partner get excited. However, you still need to pour in little labour to make the act smooth, taking clues from her mood. Too much stress, hormonal imbalances, medical conditions like vaginismus, dyspareunia or anorgasmia might need a different approach and probably medical help to get your woman in the groove. Here the foreplay will just not work.
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