Childhood is a time when we develop our emotions and everything that happens to us engraves a memory in our heads for a lifetime. We as kids try to deal with our curiosity and the complex human emotions we come across in our everyday lives. The young minds try to explore and understand as much as possible looking at everything that happens around us and imitating ways of people to deal with any situation. This stage of life is when trauma inflicted upon us can have a long-lasting and detrimental impact on our mental health as we grow up.
This happens because childhood trauma to us seems like the love we deserve being taken away as punishment for something we did wrong.
How does childhood trauma begin?
There are different kinds of childhood trauma, but all of them emanate from home. When we see adults dealing with situations in a certain way such as screaming, going silent, revenge and retaliation, it creates a huge impact on us as kids. Psychologist Nicole LePera, in an Instagram post, explained, “Witnessing parents who were emotionally immature and unable to cope with conflict has long term impacts on us.”
She added that it can also have an impact on our nervous system where we can enter a state of immobilisation. She said that we shut down, become highly emotionally reactive/unable to think, or dissociative. Parents play the most important role in the upbringing of children. Hence, if a man or a woman isn’t emotionally ready to raise a child, they should reconsider their family planning timeline.
How to resolve conflicts?
Nicole suggested that the best way to resolve conflicts is communicating whatever you feel to the other person. Nicole explained conflicts to be a collision of perspectives which is a highly common aspect of human relationships and our nature. “If conflict brings up strong intense emotions (specifically of abandonment) talk to your partner about this. Share with each other how conflict was dealt with in your homes,” Nicole added.
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