How to Have Multiple Orgasms When One Just Isn’t Enough

Sometimes, setting out with the goal of multiple orgasms in mind is not the way to go. Experts often recommend taking the focus off of orgasms in order to have orgasms, in general, so where multiple orgasms are concerned, try setting out to have a great time with your partner, or while you’re masturbating, that’s longer than usual. Maybe it will include multiple orgasms, maybe it won’t. The point is to not get in your head about it.

6. Engage your pelvic floor muscles.

Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles with Kegel exercises might also help with your orgasmic quest, since those muscles can impact how an orgasm feels and other aspects of your sexual health.

Identifying the right muscles is key, since many people don’t actually know how to engage their pelvic floor. As SELF previously reported, you can stop your urination mid-stream while you’re peeing to figure it out—the muscle you use to do that is the one you’ll be working. Here’s a full guide to how to do Kegel exercises, including info about how they can help you feel more in key with your body (and, ideally, have more control over your orgasms).

7. Use your breathing to help you relax.

Throughout the entire experience, make sure to breathe. Some people unconsciously default to holding their breath, or gasping, during sex, but concentrating on slow, steady inhalations and exhalations can help you stay connected to and present in your body.

Mindfulness can benefit many aspects of your sex life, whether you’re going for multiple orgasms or zero. Since your mind and body is so connected, anxiety and stress can get in the way of your ability to orgasm (or even just feel good in bed). Deep, mindful breath can get you out of your head and help you stay in the moment—and, potentially, loosen up enough to come again and again, once you’re focused only on feeling good.

8. Bring in a sex toy.

Using a sex toy is an excellent way to dial up your pleasure, especially if clitoral stimulation is your intense-orgasm MVP. And you certainly wouldn’t be the first person to find it easier to orgasm with a clitoral vibrator than with your hand or a partner—which can be a very useful trick to have in your back pocket if you’re trying for multiples. If you’re not experimenting with this solo, toys can also give an assist to your partner, who might need to switch up how they stimulate you as much as you need to switch up how you’re receiving pleasure.

Check out these sex toys for couples if you’re with someone else—and here’s a guide to how to use a vibrator if you’re a true newcomer. Also…anecdotally, the Magic Wand has a long history of making orgasming a lot easier, thanks to its powerful vibrations. You can learn more here.

9. Give new positions a shot.

There is no one position magically guaranteed to unlock multiple orgasms, but moving between different sex positions is a solid technique to try—you might come across something that just hits as you experiment. Positions that provide easy access to the clit, or that lead to indirect clitoral stimulation, are good places to start—these include straddling and riding your partner, getting penetrated while you’re in a tabletop position on your hands and knees, and wrapping your legs around your partner while seated on a dresser or countertop.