One of the best parts of (mostly) recovering from disordered eating is that I no longer get incredibly anxious about my body this time of year. Back when I was deep in diet culture hell, late spring was the time I started counting down the days until summer officially began, trying to calculate how much smaller I could realistically get by that self-imposed deadline: If I eat X (way-too-low) number of calories per day, and Y (sad) amount of carbs, and work out like it’s my job, maybe I’ll look “perfect” in a swimsuit, my life will turn into a rom-com, and I’ll never feel sad and anxious; I’ll finally feel thin enough, beautiful enough, and good enough.
But that’s the thing: It was never enough. Even when I reached my physical “goals,” I still felt an underlying emptiness (not to mention bottomless hunger) because the validation and love I was seeking could only come from detoxing from diet culture, healing from childhood trauma, and working on self-acceptance.
After doing all that real work, I’m happy to report that I’m now anxiously awaiting summer’s arrival for much more fun reasons: I can’t wait to feel the warmth of the sun on my (SPF-coated) face, get together with my favorite people for trips and special events, and swim my little heart out in the lake by my family’s summer cottage rental.
All that to say, I know what it’s like to feel intense internal and external pressure to get “in shape for summer” or “ready for swimsuit season.” But I also know how it feels to be (mostly) free from it, and that’s what I want for you, too. So I asked psychologist Alexis Conason, PhD, eating disorder therapist and author of The Diet Free Revolution, for her best advice on how to prevent “summer body” BS from ruining your confidence—and your fun.
Recognize where this pressure is coming from—and remember that your body is not the problem!
“When diet talk gets loud, it can help to remember that there’s a multi-billion dollar weight-loss industry invested in us believing that there’s something wrong with our bodies,” Dr. Conason says. “It’s no wonder, then, that when springtime rolls around, we all start to feel the pressure to get ‘bikini ready.’” But it can also be hard to remember that you’re constantly being sold the lie that your body isn’t acceptable, she acknowledges, since weight-loss marketing is much sneakier these days: Maybe you get a newsletter from your gym promoting a summer “toning” challenge, see a convincing “wellness” supplement ad on your Instagram feed, or hear a podcast ad for a weight-loss app being disguised as a healthy way to “stop dieting.”
Since this messaging can be so subtle, Dr. Conason suggests making a point to call it out when it gets in your head: “Whenever I start to notice negative body image thoughts creeping in, I try to pause and ask myself: Who is profiting from me believing that about my body?” she says. “Let’s keep the blame where it belongs—on diet culture—not on our bodies that are just trying to do the best they can to keep us alive.”
Curate your social media feed.
“The mainstream media puts forth an impossible ideal of beauty and so many of us feel caught spinning our wheels striving towards it,” Dr. Conason says. “Diet culture tells us that we have to conform to this ideal in order to be happy, healthy, and live a full and vibrant life.” The thing is, that’s simply not true. But it feels true in our thinness-obsessed society, which is why she advises surrounding yourself with evidence to the contrary: “I highly recommend filling your social media feed with people of all different shapes and sizes who are out there having fun with fashion, spending time with their families, and living their lives free of diet talk and body hatred.”