Casey Wilson: ‘I’m in a Cult of Lasers and There’s Nothing I Can Do About It’

No matter how high-tech our society may be, the art of transcribing an interview with Casey Wilson—the former SNL cast member and New York Times best-selling author can next be seen in the AppleTV+ series The Shrink Next Door, premiering November 12 with an all-star cast that includes Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd and Kathryn Hahn—is not for the weak. There’s some laughing, some side-splitting snorting and some moments of total regrouping and rerecording as the 41-year-old dishes out the most deadpan of beauty tips and tricks and secrets to life.

The PRP Prescription: “Everyone needs to know Christie. I don’t know her official title, but everyone knows Christie and if they don’t, they should. Her office is in Beverly Hills, and I’ve been going there forever. I’ve been doing PRP there, where they basically take your blood, they spin it, and then you take 18 needles right to the face. Nobody loves it, but Christie suggests it, so I do it. There’s a laser called the Secret, which I do twice a year. I’m also a big Limelight laser fan and I have been doing that for years—it is great for sunspots. I love it. I’m very, very deep into my laser work right now. Love me some lasers, period. For Christmas, I’m getting lasers, so I’m letting clothes and everything else fall away. I don’t think I’m doing it out of fear of aging…it feels like self-care for me, and I can also claim it can kind of be for my job, too. It doesn’t feel as desperate as much as it feels fun.”

Oil Spill: “I’m very into True Botanicals Pure Radiance Oil, which I’m not a spokesperson for—although I’m open to a sponsorship! Some products you use, and you know it’s working. I heard Laura Dern talk about it and I was like, ‘I’m so into it now.’”

I don’t think I’m doing lasers out of fear of aging…it feels like self-care for me.

Ear Ring: “I’m obsessed about sunscreen and Christie told me a good tip: She told me that, a lot of times, older women, even those who have been vigilant about sunscreen, forget their earlobes! So, I’ve been doing that. I’m also taking everything that I’m using on my face all the way down to my nipples, which I only started doing two years ago—I’m upset that I wasn’t doing it before with every product, same with the tops of my hands. I thought that was a hot tip. It’s a commitment, a big commitment, and she also told me not to sleep in earrings because it pulls out the ears all night. You learn new something new every day. I hope I can muster up the commitment level for that.”

Hair Stories: “I love Virtue shampoo. I love the lavender one. That has been huge for me. I only wash my hair twice a week, which is controversial, but it doesn’t look that oily. I have really thick hair and it’s just helped my hair so much. There’s a lot that goes on with wearing wigs and stuff and, a lot of times, I just use oil under the top of the forehead to help—because you lay your hair down so tight to put a wig on. I also love Necessaire. It’s such a good brand, really nice stuff. They have an oil for your body and I’m loving that in the shower because I’m so lazy. I don’t have time to do the lotion every night all-over my body, so I knock it out in the shower like a combo platter.”

Eye Surprise: “The other day, I got this Kate Somerville Retinol Eye Cream, which has an applicator that looks kind of like a fancy lip balm. For the last four nights, I’ve been using it on my lips. That was upsetting to realize it’s not, in fact, something for my lips. Hopefully, it will work around my eyes as well as it’s been working on my lips. It did taste kind of strange, but I chalked up the weird taste to innovation.” 

The Housewives Effect: “From a beauty aspect, I will say I am very into Dorit Kemsley on Beverly Hills’ look [Wilson co-hosts the cult-favorite Real Housewives podcast “Bitch Sesh” alongside Danielle Schneider]. I’m just taunted by everything she’s doing—so much so that, when we took new cover art for our podcast, we got her makeup artist, Melissa Hernandez to work with us, and she does such huge stars. I feel like I got The Housewives’ treatment, if that makes sense. Melissa does incredibly subtle makeup as well, but for this particular thing, I have big lips—they’re overdrawn and they have a big contour. In a way, I think that Kardashian-Housewives’ beauty look is the place where I speak my truth and live my best life. I land beautifully there because I have a round face and something about that makeup makes me feel so good. It was fun to do it for the day.”

Cult Fave: “The [new] show is an interesting one. It’s based on a true crime podcast that’s very darkly humorous. It’s about a therapist who takes advantage of his patient for 30 years and steals his money and starts to live in his home. I do think it’s relevant in a sense that, I don’t know about you, but I’ve become so entranced with all these cult shows, and documentaries and stories that have been coming out. And this is a true, fascinating story about a ‘cult of one’ and how influential a therapist can be. It only takes one person, weirdly, to be a cult leader. This psychotherapist in New York positioned himself as ‘the one’ to a vulnerable patient. I just find it fascinating that we’re all just looking for someone to tell us what to do. I had a Flywheel instructor once, and I had to ask myself ‘Am I a cult?’ I’m sure I’m in 17 cults and I don’t even know it. I’m definitely in a laser cult. I’m OK with that one.”