That means it’s a good idea to get into some pelvic floor training if you haven’t squirted before, but you’re looking to get there. Kegels are certainly an option, so long as you’re doing them correctly, as are using Kegels trainers or vaginal weights and practicing deep belly breathing to allow your pelvic floor to relax in between orgasmic contractions.
Masturbate often in whatever way feels best.
The more you explore your own body and get comfortable with the way you come, the easier orgasm gets, Dr. Wise says. It’s why she and Stewart are both staunch advocates of regular self-pleasure, whether you’re looking to squirt or just amp up the way you finish.
Masturbating sufficiently helps “lay down the pleasure pathways,” Dr. Wise says, referring to the connections between the nerve endings in your vulva and the parts of your brain that allow you to feel sexually satisfied. As you strengthen those associations, “orgasm becomes more likely to find you,” she says.
You can certainly get handsy with yourself, but sex toys can take things up a notch too. (Might we suggest toys that cater to the clitoris or G-spot?)
Give your clitoris and G-spot lots of love.
Here’s where things get juicy: Once you’re comfortable with masturbating to the point of orgasm, you’re ready to give squirting an official try. It’s not a bad idea to get yourself a sex blanket (or put something down on your bed that you don’t mind getting wet) before you dive in.
The scant research we have on what actually prompts squirting suggests that you’ll want to try stimulating your G-spot, the erogenous zone that’s typically located a couple of inches up the anterior (a.k.a. belly-side) wall of the vagina. (The whole concept of a specific spot is a little misleading; most sex experts agree that it’s more of a general area that allows you to stimulate an internal part of the clitoris instead.)
With a finger, penis, or dildo, you’ll want to apply pressure to that part of the vaginal wall “with vigorous, repetitive” motions, Dr. Wise says, adding that you can also bear down (yep, kinda like you’re trying to poop!) with your pelvic floor muscles while you go after that spot to potentially up your chances. As for why that might work? When you’re massaging the G-zone, you may also be “enrolling” the prostate glands nearby, Dr. Wise says. And the extra flex of your pelvic floor may push against the bladder too, says Stewart. Though research hasn’t fully confirmed these mechanics, TBH.
Stewart also recommends getting the external part of your clitoris involved—that sensitive nub at the top of your vulva. (After all, this button and the G-spot are part of the same network of pleasure-producing nerves.) Even just clitoral stimulation can bring you to an intense orgasm that gets your pelvic floor muscles cranking…which could have you squirting, she says. (If it sounds enticing to you, why not go for a best-of-both-worlds approach with a rabbit vibrator that offers inside and outside vibes?)
Breathe deeply and relax when you’re close to coming.
This is super important: You don’t want to be clenching anything down there when you’re about to finish, since it’s possible you could prevent your natural squirting response, Dr. Wise says. Again, the feeling right before squirting happens is often compared to needing to pee—but if you also know that you haven’t peed in a while, you might be concerned (understandably so) about regular ol’ pee coming out on its own or alongside your squirt, and so you might just hold it all in. (Again, it’s a good idea to make a habit of peeing before sex!)
Stewart recommends taking deep breaths as things start to heat up, which can help your pelvic floor muscles relax, so you’re less likely to stop the waterworks before they start.
Don’t get too in your head about it—seriously.
Telling you not to get worked up about squirting when you’re probably reading this article with the express purpose of squirting seems a little silly. But we have to say it: Much like having sex solely as a means to an orgasm, focusing only on squirting can suck the pleasure right out of the experience—which defeats the whole point. Not to mention, overthinking during sex can make squirting even more elusive, according to both experts. The less you can chase waterfalls, the more likely you are to become one!
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