Parents tend to see their future selves in their children and that is why they want them to be better in every field than they themselves were. Because of this, many times they end up pushing them too hard and comparing them with their peers and over-achieving neighbours’ sons or cousins. However, in most of the cases it leaves an adverse psychological impact on the children.
Here are a few simple practices which will help parents to get rid of this habit.
Tell yourself that this is not the way
Sometimes parents make the ridiculous assumption that constantly nagging their kids to match up to others will somehow increase their drive and potential, but this is grossly wrong. Please keep in mind that how good your child turns out is solely, and solely your responsibility.
Tell yourself that comparison is wrong
First of all, it’s extremely important for you to know that there are various factors that contribute to the development of a child, and that includes his physical and mental ability and his learning environment. If your child is having difficulties grasping lessons or learning something, then talk to them and try to make it easier.
It might put you at a disadvantage
Nobody likes being compared to others constantly, and it’s even more hurtful and humiliating when your own parents are so harsh. It is important for you to understand that drawing constant comparisons to others can make the child think that they are not good enough, and this can hurt their self-esteem, which is something you certainly don’t want. They might even start resenting you.
Build mutual trust
If your own children don’t trust you, then you’re a bad parent. Making constant comparisons also makes you a bad parent. To put the two together, if you make your child feel like they’re a burden on you, then they won’t trust you and you’ll have only yourself to blame.
Learn to appreciate your child’s uniqueness
Instead of constantly trying to make your child emulate the neighbour’s son, it would be better if you start taking notice of your own child’s talents. Compliment them and reward them if they do something nice.
Have patience
Learn to have patience with your child and not push them too hard to do something, especially when they seem to be finding it difficult or not taking an interest in it.
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